Effective communication

Please note that I have written this text from my perspective, so I use a style and examples I feel affinity with. I try to write things in such a manner that it touches a wide audience. Your perspective may differ and you may not feel affinity with what I have written. Your feedback is therefore appreciated. 

Start with yourself

Effective communication requires emphatic listening. You ask a question or pose a problem and thereby you invite the other party to listen and reply. Probably because you are seeking for a better situation, whatever that might be. If you seek for knowledge and experience to make your communication more effective you can start with yourself, literally. Notice and improve the way you communicate with yourself. It may seem that improving the way you communicate with yourself doesn't matter that much, but from my experience I think it is key. 

From my experience

I found it quiet amazing to experience how I can communicate with my inner voices (perspectives, persons, whatever you may call it). A voice may be one of the parent, the spouse, the employee, the inner child and every perspective you can think of. All these voices communicate with each other all day long. You might not notice it, but if you pay attention you can really discern these different voices in your inner dialog. The point is, how do they communicate with each other? They way these inner voices communicate with each other is exactly the way you communicate with someone else. How could it be any different?

A simple way to communicate

Let us first define a simple way to effectively communicate. From my experience, it consists of only a few simple steps.

1. The voice that experiences a problem needs to speak up.
2. The other voices must be sincerely willing to address the problem.
3. Dialog is required between the voices. 
4. Only the voice that experiences (or experienced) the problem can agree whether the problem is resolved or whether it may rest for now.

Let's elaborate on these steps to clarify. 

1. Speak up

You do not know what another person thinks or feels. Your inner voices do not know what other voice in your head think or feel. So others can't possible know (merely guess) what you experience or think. The same holds for the voices of your inner dialog. Other voices (perspectives) have another look on things so they don't know how one voice experiences something. So if you, or a voice of your inner dialog, experiences a problem, you (or the voice) needs to speak up! At the same time it is very important that the one who speaks up, is willing to see things differently. That a voice (or person) experiences a problem doesn't mean it is actually there, it is all a matter of perspective.

2. Willing to address the problem

Image yourself being a member of a team that needs to get a project done. You have some concern about something related to the project. As others can't know what you think you need to speak up to make this clear, as mentioned earlier. It is now the responsibility of the other team members to be willing to address your problem. If they do not, your problem is still there, and consumes a part of your mind. Your mind can only do so much, so valuable processing power of you is lost as long as the problem stays. The same holds for voices in your mind. The other voices must be willing to address the problem of the voice that speaks up. If they do not, the voice with the problem can't really become part of collaboration to do work as it is partially occupied with the problem. 

3. Dialog

So the problem is out in the open, and other voices are listening and willing to help. The next ingredient is required to actually be able to solve it, and that is to converse. Other voices may ask politely whether they may present there perspective on the issue, or the initiator (the voice with the problem) may address certain voices and ask for their input. Sincere interest must be present while questions are being asked, and sincere answers must be given in order to really solve the issue.

Compare this to the team that wants to finish the project. Yelling at each other how stupid or irrelevant their concern is, and move on doesn't solve anything. Arrogantly telling how things work doesn't necessarily work either. Only speaking politely to one another, with an open mind for all possibilities, keeps the conversation going with a mind set to actually solve the issue.

4. Is the problem solved? 

 It doesn't matter whether the problem is logically there or not. The only thing that matters is that the voice with the problem experiences  a problem. So only the voice that has addressed the problem can say whether it is truly resolved. If it is not, the voice with the problem is held back because its mind is troubled. Other voices must accept that only the voice with the problem can say whether it is resolved or not. If the conversation is taking too long on a particular moment, it must be discussed whether it is possible to hold on to the issue and discuss it later on. But it must be discussed and later on must be defined right away, e.g., we discuss it this evening after diner because we then have time to converse. Again, compare this behavior with a group of people forming a team to get the project done.

Reread the first sentence of this point 4. The outcome may be that the voice has changed its perspective and agrees there is no problem, or other voices agree there is a problem and other voices need to pick it up and do work to solve it. The point here is, the outcome can be either way.

But we can get the project done without your problem being resolved, right!?

Someone in a team speaks up, and others try to sincerely address the issue. After some debate the problem isn't resolved yet and some team members become impatient. They start to speak with louder voices, listen less, if they still listen at all, and are already thinking of other things that is on their mind. Can't they get the project done if that issue isn't solved? Yeah, they probably can, because they do not share the issue, so it probably isn't vital to get the project done (or they are really stupid :) ). So what is the point of all this listening to each other and spending time doing so if the project can be finished without? If you do, you team up, and a team gets more work done, in a better way than anyone can do on its own. Compare companies, soccer teams, football teams, governments and so on. Could one person ever yield the same output as those who collaborate? No way. Can one person defend and score vs 11 other players on a soccer field? Can one person run an entire company without the help of others? Can one person run a country? The answer is yes but the results are far less than when people collaborate. So it is about getting the most out of it, achieve the best results possible. That is why everybody must speak up their issue, be heard and dealt with. The exact same thing holds for your inner dialog. You get the most out of yourself if you apply this method to all your inner voices and their problems, idea's or hunches.

Final words

I use examples of problems here. But that is not the only case in which this conversation method is of value. It also applies to a general idea or even a hunch. Whether it makes sense or not, it must be told (1), heard(2), discussed (3) and verified whether conclusions may be drawn to end the discussion (4). Only then the potency of the idea or hunch is fully explored. You want to get the most out of your life? Then collaborate with all these inner voices and you will.

Loosing weight the easy way

pre·med·i·tate (prē-mĕd′ĭ-tāt′)v.tr. "To form an intent to carry out"

You try to loose weight but you do not succeed. For weeks you find yourself in this struggle of trying to loose weight but you just loose control every time. Whatever you are doing doesn't seem to work, and that almost convinces you that it is impossible to loose weight!

Almost, as you are reading this blog post, so you still have hope.

Did you read the definition of premeditation above? That is the essence of successfully loosing weight. (Or achieve anything). You must form an intent to carry out the action of experiencing the body weight you desire. 

Let's take an example. You want that a new smartphone, you think about all the features a lot, you have compared all kinds of phones, and you made up your mind. You trust the brand, you read some reviews, you imagine yourself having it (subconsciously that is), using it, showing it to your friends and you can already feel how useful and convenient this new phone is to you, and how it will serve you and enhance the quality of your everyday life. (It almost sounds like a commercial huh?) So you go to the store and you put down the money that you honestly earned by (hard?) work and you take the phone home with you, eager to open the box, put the charger in and see the device in action.

Does the story above sound like hard work? Does it sound like impossible? Does it sound like you would have any trouble doing all these things mentioned above? Probably not. But when you come to think about it, you did put in a lot of energy acquiring the phone that suits your needs. But you probably didn't experience so much difficulties as when you are trying to loose weight.

You have successfully formed the intent to buy a phone that is to your liking. Now do the same for successfully forming an intent to have the body weight you desire.

Reread the previous sentence, you see there is a difference between "I will need to loose weight because I am too fat" and "How amazing would I feel when I have the body weight I feel most comfortable with"? The latter is more similar to the thoughts when you were thinking about that phone you want.

So start thinking about how wonderful you will feel at the swimming pool, being able to wear the clothes you always wanted, being comfortable with your body in a public place. Start thinking about everything that feels good and appealing about having the body weight you desire.

STOP!!! thinking those thoughts "I won't succeed", or any other negative thought that arises. Did you ever worried about whether you could actually put in the energy to read the reviews of the phones, go to the store, etc.etc...? No you didn't, you probably liked the process before you actually bought the phone. The process of loosing weight must be the same and you will succeed. Whenever a negative thought arises, address it worries and focus on the positive feelings of having the body weight you desire. 

Put the energy in premeditation. Put the energy in forming the intent to have a body with the desired weight. Sit down for 10 minutes a day solely for this premeditation and you will have the body you always wanted.

How to find God

In this article I describe something that people write books about. Something people spent their lives to get to understand this. I caught a glimmer of it, which I like to share. I don't expect you to understand all the concepts in this post I merely touch upon. It would be good if you do the same. So look up more information about certain concepts if you don't get the point. Spread reading this article in chunks if you feel it is too much to handle right now.

This article isn't about religion
First let me put it this way. God, for me that is, is equivalent to 'the matrix' or 'all there is' or the system, or consciousness. It is just a word to describe something that just can't be described in one word. But we do that anyway, so I will use the word God, as that is very common among us. If you feel that you prefer another word for it, just copy,paste, find & replace the word God with whatever you like to refer to it.

What is god
As God is everything, you are part of it as well. Yet you are still an individual. You have your own thoughts, the things that you do, like, dislike, and so forth. You are you, yet you are a part of God.

But God is not a part of you, as a tire is part of a car, and not the other way around, that would be illogical. But when you refer to the car, you also refer to the tire. As the car is made of, among other things, the tire. So this means that if you refer to God, you also refer to yourself. God is, among other things, made of you. How does that feel?

This post is about how to find God. If you haven't already, or forgot you did once, you are lost from God. We have this saying in Dutch "van god los". This means that you are separated from God. Well how can you be separated from which you are part of? Seems paradoxial isn't it. (A paradox only indicates, that two logical concept contradict in what you define reality to be. Reality is what you define it to be to you, but not what it is.) A paradox indicates that you have two perspectives that require a third perspective where both fith in. The third perspective gives room to both perspectives into one valid, logical, feels right, concept. That concept, where both are valid, is on a more abstract level. Maybe I write more about this in another post. Sorry to have confused you with this if I did, lets move on and forget about it, as its not required to understand paradoxes to find God.

Cut the crap and get to the point, how do you find God? The most concise answer I can think of, and still be correct is the following: live your life.

I understand that such an answer doesn't help much. If you want more help to find God, please know that we get a bit technical, to discover how to find God. So think of a you, who has the time and patience to read on.

The definition of finding God 
First I need to define what it means to find God. It means to come to an understanding of how you relate to God, and God to you. The understanding I write about is composed of intellect and emotion, so knowing and experiencing. Solely knowing isn't enough, and solely experiencing isn't enough either. You need both. Let me make a side step to clarify why you need both. Would you enjoy being thrown up and down, from left to right with great force for 60 seconds? And then, again, some time later, and if you do, then how to experience it again? Or do you want to know what it is, by only reading about it, that can move you around with great force for 60 seconds? Make a pick, choose either one. Pretty useless he? Now get in that roller-coaster, you know what that is right? And experience the ride. Only then the whole concept of the roller-coaster becomes meaningful to you. So if you know what it is, and you know the experience, you can choose to do it again, if you like. Now that is what it means to find God, you know what it is, you experienced what it is like, and you can choose to find God again.

God is composed of synergy. Truly understand synergy, it is the most value thing you can understand and experience. In general, people call this love. Let me clarify that I don't mean love in the sence of I love having sex to enjoy myself, or I love riding my motorcycle to spend time, or I love vacations on the beach. I refer to love when you want to raise a child, construct things, help other people out, have meaningful sex, and everything else that creates value. Note the words "when you want to". As when you do these things while you don't want to, the love in these given examples is nowhere to be found.

The value of choosing a perspective
You are different when you shift your focus towards different aspects of life. You can choose different perspectives consciously. Google for "Big Mind" and there is information to tell you how to do this. When you choose to shift your attention towards love, you look out to construct things, care for things, maintain and improve things. You can be focusing on fear, by responding to (and not choosing for) something, and outcomes are very different. This is no conscious act, as you are responding instead of choosing. When you fear your spouse is cheating on you, while your spouse isn't, but you do never know for sure, then how to build a better relationship together? You are reacting to that fear which alters your behavior. Your spouse feels that you don't have trust in the relationship, and that has negative impact on your relationship.
All these are perspectives, the perspective of your spouse cheating on you, or the perspective of taking care of your spouse because you love your spouse. choose for the perspective of love, and fill your mind with that, seek for synergy. If you notice that you unconsciously are in a perspective based on fear, then choose to shift your focus to a perspective with more love.
You will find out how this is related to find God if you keep on reading.

Fractals
Truly understand a fractal and its magnificence. God is a fractal. Look at electrons circling a nucleus or at planets circling the sun, or entire galaxies circling around a massive black hole. Fractals are patterns repeating on small and large scales. God is composed of all these repeating patterns. Fractals are composed of two simple things: one simple formula, and energy to construct it. Have you seen the youtube video? This a computer processor, which is putting energy into one simple formula. Every iteration (result of the formula constructing each image in the video) is unique. You will never find the exact same image in another iteration. Yet they all are part of one large pattern.

The simple formula to find God
Your consciousness is like that fractal. It can only grow by one simple formula, or else it dies. That formula is willing to seek synergy. When you know what the formula of a fractal is, you still don't have a fractal image. So when you know that seeking synergy is what expands your conscious, you still haven't expanded it. You need to put energy into it, like the CPU of a computer, to render the fractal by that formula. It requires effort to seek synergy. Are you willing to work? As the definition of synergy is working together, so you need to want to work. I wrote earlier that it only requires you to live your life to find God, then how does this fractal formula relates to that comment? You will find out eventually that it works this way, by living your life.

The experience of synergetic perspective
For the sake of understanding what is coming next, put on a perspective of a situation where you feel slightly uncomfortable. You have something in your mind? (You see, only reading doesn't get you there, you need to do something to experience it, so put this perspective in your mind). Now here is the point. What is it that you are reacting on that makes you feel uncomfortable? It is probably fear. Now toss that fear away. Did the perspective you had change for the better? I doubt it. That fear is stuck, isn't it. If we keep discussing the fear, it is stuck indeed. So lets transcend all this and make the situation in your mind more comfortable. Focusing on how you can be of most value in that situation you have in your mind. FOCUS ON SYNERGY. How can you help others, in that situation, or be of value to anything you can think of. Simple seek things where 1+1=3 applies to you. You + something else = more . This takes time/energy, as it takes energy and time to render that fractal. It may require a minute or two of your focus on that synergetic perspective of you in that situation, or months. That entirely depends on the weight of all this on your life. This is spiritual development.

You must understand and have experienced the power of focusing on synergy in order for this explanation to succeed. So truly seek that experience. If you can't do it right now, than focus upon synergy in a every day task or situation and get back to reading this post.

The analysis of what just happened
You can choose to switch perspectives. You try different things in your mind, and see in your mind how these things turn out, while keeping synergy in mind. You can get a sense of how it feels if you would do this or that in a situation, all in your mind. You created a virtual reality, in which you run certain scenarios and watched their outcomes in your mind. This is profitably to you to do, as it takes less time and energy than to try them all in physical reality, so that is synergy right there already! Now did you sense objects and people and yourself? Did you picture yourself and others in a certain body or form? You can choose whatever you want to imagine in such a virtual reality situation in your mind to test outcomes as long as the intention is the same. This is how people heal with their minds. What I mean is, you could have envisioned yourself as your physical self, as a ghost that only observes but doesn't interact in the situation, as rock if you want to feel indestructible. Remember that it is all about shifting your focus on perspectives that yield synergy. So if you want to focus on a situation in your mind where you want to feel more strong you can imagine yourself as being made of rock, of whatever appeals to you, that's personal. If this rock example doesn't make sense it means it isn't appealing to you, find what is appealing to you.

The bridge from you to God and back
Here it comes, hold on tight, your reality may be shaking a bit after understanding the following: This pattern of you, in this reality, seeking for synergy (as that is what makes live more pleasant) and being able to think of a situation (creating a virtual reality) is exactly the same as what God is doing. Reread the previous sentence a couple of times until you understand that this is a fractal pattern. You are shifting perspectives to find out what works best for you. These perspectives are different yous in your mind. God is doing the same thing. God is shifting perspectives at large scale. God is this multiple core processor trying to find Synergy. God has put you, as one of it's perspectives out there, in this reality, to try to find synergy. It is running simulations. When you think of yourself visually, you give a perspective a form, a body, an environment. You have a body because you are a perspective that currently has focus. That focus comes from God. As long as you focus upon a perspective in your mind, you 'embody' that thought. When you let it to, it is gone, temporarily, but you can regain the perspective again, albeit it may be a bit changed. A perspective therefore never dies, it can always be refocused upon. The same applies to you. Your soul is this perspective, that is focused upon. And when you die, the perspective can be focused upon in a new form/reality/life/whatever. That is what most people recall to as reincarnation. "Going into the flesh". The perspective is applied in another reality, to see how it can be optimized.
Everybody you see around you is another perspective of you/God. So your perspective may not like someone else it's perspective, but that isn't the point. The point is that both of you find synergy with your perspectives.

So I write this for myself, as you are me and I am you. We are just different perspectives of the same mind (of God). So when this article helps you in any way, I am helping myself, thus helping us, this creating synergy. We are equal as we are both perspectives. If one perspective knows better than the other perspective, it is better to share the knowledge and gain synergy than to become arrogant and construct ego. So God is 'imperfect', and that is a good thing. It only means there is more to grow towards to, to state it less judgmental. It also enables to see others and appreciate them for what they are. As we are all perspectives of God with our 'imperfections', or less judgmental, with our ability to grow towards more, together.

Do not play the lottery

The motivation

We all know lotteries: Pay a little, and have a (very small) chance of winning lots. Now what are you playing the lottery for? Is it the thrill? Is it the money? Is it that you also automatically give to charities (that the lottery advertises with) when you play? Truly ask your self, what is your motivation? It has to do with money, as no lottery would exist without it, and lots of other things in life have more 'thrill value' then playing the lottery. So you motivation must have to do with money. Next thing is, what is happening, or going to happen, with the money that is in your motivation? Will you donate it (all) to some good cause? Will you keep it for yourself? Will you spent all the money on health care for some one else its illness? Pick out the motivations that are good, and pick out the motivation that are related to selfishness. Make your picks. To which of the two is your motivation more related? My guess is that you would like to have the money so you can pay all your bills, never work again and even buy the things you otherwise never could have bought, just for fun, like a sports car or whatever. If this is true then you should really read to the end of the article.

So whats wrong?

In short: your motivation is wrong. Read on to found out the why. So what is wrong with playing the lottery to win a lot of money? Inside that motivation lies expectations. The expectation that lots of money will make your life more pleasant. And that expectation, of money making your life more pleasant, stays as long as you play. How subtle, far away or unimportant that expectation may seem, it is there, as long as you play. Therefore playing the lottery automatically each month is worse than buy a lot just once.

What is wrong with that expectation?

"Your life will become more pleasant when you have lots of money"? True or false? If you feel that this is true, but you wisely say false, you are fooling yourself. If you think or feel that this is true, then please read on.
By having the expectation, that money will make your life more pleasant, you instantly have a mental blockage to a higher level of happiness. Lets suppose there is an ultimate level of happiness, just for this example. Then how would you ever reach that level of ultimate happiness if you think that there is something out there than can still make you more happy? You can't logically be 100% happy if there is that thing (a lottery in this example) that you expect to make you more happy. You see? It is plain logic. All that is required to make you as happy as possible lies within your own mental power, right now, at this very moment. Now of course there are things that you may expect to make you more happy, and of course you may have a desire for that to become reality. That is not the point. The point is the out there aspect in one of the the previous sentences. It implies that there is an external factor that can make you happy, while the truth is that, all that is required for happiness lies within.

Make your pick

You have a choice, belief that the money will make you more happy then you are now, or belief that all that is required to make you more happy right now lies within your own mental power... Which one do you choose? Contemplate about what makes you truly happy in life, what is really important. The things that matter aren't just important to you, they just are. You do not get to decide whether good health (mentally and physically) makes you happy or not, they just do, for everybody. Don't you agree? Then imagine the opposite is the case...  The wiser pick will sure lead you to more and more happiness as you go. Will you still play the lottery with the motivation and expectation that money will make your life more pleasant... ?

Why the under developed intellect doesn't value emotion so much

Balance is what matters. Without balance, systems function less or are even destroyed, as they can no longer continue to exist.
People (those animals from the human race) do not function exactly what you could call balanced. People are often in conflict with each other, which is logical, when people are very often in conflict with their selves: doing things too much is a result of this. Too much drinking, smoking, eating or even too much sports all brings damage to body. You can only truly care about another, if you do truly care about yourself. Bringing damage upon your self is the greatest indicator that you are out of balance.

Now, how does all this blatter about balance relate to the intellect that doesn't value emotion so much? Good question! If you do not know the answer yet, keep reading.

The unbalanced state people can find their selves in (including me) has many degrees. And what these people have in common is that their right and left brain hemisphere having trouble communicating. So you and I already have something in common now: we should use our corpus callosum more. What is often the main cause at work, or at home, when there are conflicts, and people argue? Exactly, communication... It always comes done to a suboptimal level of communication causing the trouble. (Note: Ego plays a part here as well, but ego is a result of suboptimal communication of a being within, you will see when you read to the end of this article.).

Finally, the intellect enters the stage! Big applause people!, As mr. Know-It-All (or give me a moment and I look it up for you) comes up!

We narrow our view to the intellectual people now, that is ~49.5% of humanity, leaving ~50.5% of the people on the globe out of this discussion.

People who mainly use their intellect to navigate their life do not value emotion so much. They see it as a byproduct or so, something that functioned during the stone ages when you had to flee or fight. But as fleeing or fighting isn't day-to-day business anymore, they think they do not need it so much. What I am saying is that the intellect will probably come up with lots of theories why emotion is less valuable than intellect. You can't describe quantum physics with emotion now, do you? Wow, that statement felt good! Didn't it Mr. Know-It-All?

WARNING: Unpleasent feelings may arise while reading the following!

Intellects, you have been warned. Lets crack that shell of yours. Physics isn't all there is. Emotionally focused people would agree on that right away! Physics doesn't matter at all, in their view. Don't get too excited, we will address you I-feel-what-is-important-in-live people in some future article.

For those intellects that are mildly in shock but still capable of learning, keep reading.

Emotions, or feelings, are indicators of how well you are doing. If you feel down, its the job for intellect to make up a plan to make your self feel better. This isn't as arbitrary as it may seem, as this is exactly the process by which a sentient consciousness intelligence (you, for example) grows up. Emotion can't rationalize what has to be done, leave that to the intellect. Rationalizing whether you are down, isn't an easy job as well, and takes a lot of time; What factors would you need to consider in the first place? Just questioning yourself of how you feel is a lot easier, so leave that up to the right brain hemisphere (emotion). Maybe there isn't something wrong at all, an intellect may think. And he may be correct, if he only considers the external environment. Here comes the nuances: If externally there isn't something wrong, it is not a justification to simply ignore the feeling and go on. If externally everything seems just fine, the cause of feeling down originates internally (probably fear). And in order to feel good again, it must be investigated, thats how you grow. Simply going on and focusing on the external world doesn't solve the issue that arises internally.

Finally, we get to the main question of this article.

Intellects love to think they know it all. If they would use their emotion, the way it is designed to be used, they may have to face a situation similar to this: "Hey I'm feeling anxious, something is wrong... Let me think about it... Hmmm... I don't know (yet)..." and they MUST accept that they in fact don't know it all. If they would, they would feel instantly happy again, and that ain't the case in 99.99% of the cases. They can't question a faculty for science to rationalize what the origins of those feelings are... As it may be a very personal conflict (internal world) that is causing the anxiousness. That uncertainty, of not knowing, frightens the intellect. If the intellect would accept it doesn't know it all, getting of the throne of superiority, it has to share its formerly 1st place with emotion, as it can no longer consider itself superior as it doesn't know it all. Neither emotion, nor intellect is superior over the other.

The intellect can only see to see the value of emotion, if the intellect itself is developed enough to come to this conclusion. If the intellect doesn't see it this way, it is underdeveloped still. You can only harness the synergy, that the the sum of the left+right brain hemisphere has to offer, if you use them both. Let them both guide you through your life by appreciating and acknowledging their existence, by seeing them as bringing equal value to your life.

Ego is like cancer

Why this blog post
When I was typing the words on Google "ego is like" I expected it to make quiet some suggestions. But counter my expectations I found just a few, and some didn't not make much sense (about clothing and all, not very fundamental). After searching on "Ego is like cancer" I expected to see some hits that compared the ego (as a property of a being) to be compared to a cancer (the biological misbehaviour of randomly dividing cells). But again, I didn't find any satisfying results that preaches the similarities. Though I am sure the equality is thought/teached by others, I wanted it to have a better page rank on Google.

Before the comparison
When preaching such a similarity, that ego is like a cancer, one must do a valid comparison. And before one can do a comparison, one must analyze each object/idea/concept in its own right. After analysis, similarities may (or may not) arise.

Analysis of Ego

Definition
Of course wiki will be of some help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego saying:

"Ego" is a Latin and Greek (ἑγώ) word meaning "I", often used in English to mean the "self", "identity" or other related concepts.

That isn't really explanatory, it doesn't grasp a fundamental definition. Clicking somewhat further, in search of a better description, I came to the page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego#Ego which gives a very lengty description. I didn't find this very fundamental and satisfying either. What I did find satisfying is the following definition, from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ego

The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.

That is more fundamental, especially the "distinct from other" part. Now what is other? In the perspective of ego, this all that doesn't define itself (that doesn't define ego).

Behaviour of Ego

Let's demonstrate the behaviour of ego by example.

Would you put litter on the bed you sleep? No of course not, that is where you sleep. Would anyone purposely litter their place to sleep? I highly doubt it. At home, you put it in the garbage can. Do people spread litter in public and nature? Yes they do, throwing it out the window while driving, or leaving their rubbish in the park after a visit. Or dumping whole sofas into a nearby forest. Why? Because they have little or no sense that they litter the system they exist on. Someone else will clean it up, for them, so why bother.... Those people do not respect the system they exist on, as their ego does not include the environment to be part of itself. And what isn't part of the ego, the ego doesn't care about.
Ego would rather suggest to propagate this behaviour, then not to. Let's clarify by example. People smoking a cigarette often offer one to their company, so they do not smoke alone. People drinking coffee ask people to come with. When people recline, the coffee drinkers often say something like: "Don't you drink coffee !? Why not!?" Oh jeez, I might have upset the coffee drinkers with this statement. If you feel so, consider who or what is getting up set here? But thats another discussion.
Smoking is just like littering your environment, but then somewhat closer to home, it is (self)destructive. Smoking does actually kill people in the long run! (Oh you already knew that...).

Of course lots of variations exist on this behaviour. But would you expect someone, who leaves his litter in the park, tell someone else, who does the same, to clean it up? That would be an exceptionally uncommon array of events. On the other hand, someone who knows and feels, that he/she is part of the environment (that is, made possible by the environment) would propagate (or at least feels urged to do so) to clean the litter up. Such a person would agree on the fact that he/she is in touch with the environment. Do you think someone littering the park feels in touch with the environment? Go and ask a few (when you see it happen) if you aren't sure about the probably answer. Or don't, they might get rude and angry because they are confused that you are asking them about something that isn't your business, well actually it is... By disrespecting their environment, they implicitly disrespect their own existence. Even worse, they disrespect your existence as well. As you both exist on the same environment and couldn't survive (for long) without it (physiologically speaking).

Analysis of Cancer

Definition
Everybody knows of cancer. Its a disease that might be fatal. Lets go a bit more into detail visiting this Wikipedia page that states:

In cancer,cells divide and grow uncontrollably, forming malignant tumors, and invading nearby parts of the body.

Now its the malignant tumor that really defines what a cancer is: an injurious swelling, serving no physiological purpose.

Behaviour of Cancer
The earlier quote from Wikipedia on Cancer says something about the behaviour: "invading nearby parts of the body". In other words, it spreads throughout the physiological system, the body.

Another (unmissable) aspect is that it the host of the cancer has an significant increased risk of death because of the presence and behaviour of the cancer. In the long run, when the hosts dies, the cancer dies as well. So this dysfunctional behaviour of the cancer is actually self destructive.

A cancer may form when the cell is not in touch with its environment. This might occur when receptors on the cell's surface, that interact with other cells, are deformed. A cancer may form when the cell is not in touch with its environment. Cells communicate their presence with each other cells by sending a signal (using chemistry). Receptors are the receivers of that signal. When the receptors are dysfunctional, a cell misses the signal it should stop dividing (since it is touching a nearby cell already). The cell being ignorant about the nearby cells keeps dividing itself, forming a cancer.

Have you ever heard or read that two cancers team up? No of course not, and if they would (however that may take form), when the host dies, they both die. So one may logically derive that a cancer disrespects all that is sustained by the body.

The Comparison
The most obvious similarity is that both ego and cancer do not care about, or are ignorant of, the environments they exist on. Derived from this aspects comes the self destructive nature of cancer and ego. And because the ego/cancer is self destructing, it destructs (partially) what hosts the ego/cancer. They both have negative value to the environment they exist on, both ego and cancer aren't in touch with their environment. Enough ego disrespects the physical body (smoking e.g.)and so does the cancer. Another similarity is that both ego and cancer invade (increase their effect in) their environment. Cancer (may) spread itself throughout the body, and ego (may) offer someone else a cigarette (to joyfully inhale the smoke) as well.
Both ego and cancer aren't platforms to build upon. Have you ever heard of a new physiological function that improved one's existence because of a tumor being present, like a super efficient working kidney, or improved auditory senses? If so, its very uncommon, probably misjudged, and not likely at all to remain in that state for a long time. With ego its about the same. Can you think of one scenario where ego is making things easier? Where it facilitates new organisation? Something beneficial that couldn't possibly exist without ego?